Do you ever notice that you have a constant voice in your head – commenting on everything? It comments on your family, friends, co-workers, the weather – and is endlessly critical about you.
It happens to me all the time. Sometimes, as I write I hear, “That doesn’t sound right; is that correct, will people understand your point?” If my “voice” is kind I feel better, write better, eat healthier, and get better results overall. I feel awesome. If not, my creativity is limited, my writing is not filled with joy and I overeat. I “stuff” myself and my feelings.
This does not make me feel good, but somehow, we think that criticizing works. We believe if we are gentler with our self-talk, if we are kinder and praise ourselves, we will lose our edge.
Science confirms that self-compassion – being kind and understanding to yourself – improves our lives. Self-compassion doesn’t mean you don’t get your work done, focus on your goals, learn and advance. It means you have the same compassion for yourself as you would for someone you care about and love.
Self-compassion, supporting yourself – leads to feeling better and performing better at work and home. Research shows that people who speak kindly to themselves – who criticize themselves less are: happier more optimistic less depressed lose more weight. In short, self-compassion works.
Notice the days when you are feeling good usually starts with something “good” happening. At work, you get an important task done; at work and home – perhaps you are “playing well with others.” This sets up a cascade of positive thoughts, “Well done, I feel so good now, my relationships are working…” Why? Because what you give out, you get back. Thinking well, feeling good about others = living better.
So, keep positive self-talk going. Choose good thoughts about yourself; praise and support yourself and others. That’s self-compassion. Practicing it means you can be that person who is happy and spreads joy. Yes, you can.
Here is how to practice self-compassion so you can be happier, healthier and even more successful. At work and home, support yourself for success. Start by thinking, “Today is a wonderful day for me.” Smile, give praise, be kind and compassionate – to yourself and others. Spread joy. Be happy. NOW.
Notice the critical thoughts that don’t make you feel good and say, “Cancel, cancel” to the thought. Then replace the thought with just the opposite, such as, “I can get this done, feel good, have a great day.”
It is impossible to feel good when you are criticizing yourself or others. It can’t be done. Cut the criticism = feel better – perform better – be happier – be healthier – experience joy. Say, “You, (your name), are awesome!” This is a wonderful place to start self-compassion – because it’s true. Practice self-compassion.