I had one of those moments. You know the one – someone yells, attacks you; you feel like you have been hit in the gut; your body tenses. This is your moment of opportunity – overcoming an extreme trigger – to get your power back.
When people are angry, they are in pain.
If you are the recipient of that anger, you have two choices; react in anger – and spread the anger. Or, choose to take 100% responsibility for your life.
Every time you are challenged and embrace the challenge as an opportunity, you grow. That growth = more control of your life = freedom = peace.
How can you get calm when you are very upset? 1. Breathe deeply; keep breathing until you feel calmer. 2. Go to somewhere quiet. a. Breathe deeply, close your eyes; see a calming scene – a beach, the mountains, nature. b. Play calm music, continue to breathe and focus on your breathing. c. Distracted? Focus on the music or just your breath. Repeat, “I feel calm; it’s all okay.” 3. Smile. This will shift your brain to positive. You will immediately feel better.
The key here is not to dwell on the “incident” but to allow your brain and body to re-claim calm.
Then re-join the world – go back and do what you need to do at work or home. Notice your natural tendency to blame and complain in your mind; STOP IT – this will only make it worse. Instead, keep repeating, “I feel calm; it is all okay. I choose freedom and peace.”
When you can, you may want to: 1. Write about it. Just write until you feel better – this helps you let it go. 2. Talk (no complaining) to a calm friend. Process it; keep focused on letting it go; no blaming. 3. Send them kindness – Think, “I am sending you feel better thoughts; compassion, kindness.”
These are “higher actions;” they take you out of the habits that keep you stuck. They transform you. Practice them next time someone is unkind to you. As you do this, you empower yourself to be peaceful.
And isn’t that what you want – to be peaceful, to get your power back?
You are 100% responsible for your thoughts, emotions and actions; you’ve got the power; not them. Choose – “I choose to respond to my challenge, not to let it overtake me; not to let it ruin my hour, day.”
You’ve got the power.