A few weeks ago, I found myself in the middle of an upset. I had hired someone to help me with my business on an as-needed basis. When we were done, I called her to let her know I no longer needed her. She exploded. “You have not heard the last from me,” was her response.
Initially I was taken aback. How did I upset someone I truly cared about? Her tone told me she was not only upset but planning to retaliate.
I needed a quick resolution. This had the potential to ruin my day, my weekend and our friendship.
What I did know – almost immediately – was that this was a huge opportunity for me. If I could get myself out of this upset it would be a turning point in my ability to handle life’s stressors.
I realized that life is always easier when I am kinder and more loving – to myself and others. I can change the voice in my head through kindness, understanding and in this case, compassion.
So, every time I thought of her, I thought of her with compassion and I sent her “whatever you need.” I knew that like me she was struggling. We all struggle, right? I just didn’t know what her struggle was about.
Every time I thought of her I sent her compassion, “whatever you need to feel better,” over and over. This was not for her – this was for both of us. I needed to be free from the distress, fix our misunderstanding.
I never heard from her again. I now feel at peace about our relationship. I imagine she feels the same.
Why does this work? It works because everything – you, your friends, family, team – is made of energy. When you send good energy – remember when you were in love for the first time? – you get good energy.
Arguing with a family member? Send them love. Can’t agree with someone at work? Send them compassion and kindness – it’s what you both need.
No matter how difficult someone is being, send them kindness, understanding and compassion. Then watch as you get along better with people at work and home. This is due to the shift in your feelings.
You can’t send someone kindness and compassion without receiving the same. What you give out, you get back. Your moving towards kindness, compassion and dare I say, love – helps you and the other person.
Send them kindness, send them compassion – take the first step. Then watch as you feel better, they feel better and your world improves – at work and home.