Years ago, I lived the “victim” story. Somebody was always making my life difficult. I was married so it was “his” fault for my problems. This was the first lie. Then it was “I can’t do…because she…or he…or they…,” always some excuse. Then one day I woke-up and realized that if I wanted a better life, it was up to me. I had to take 100% responsibility for my life.
That recognition – that I was in control, that it was up to me, freed me. I knew I had to create a new story and live into it; embrace the challenges, learn the lessons.
The first lesson: if my life was hard, it was my thinking that was to blame. It was not the person, situation, team, company…it was the way I thought about it. If I was choosing to have a bad attitude, tell a story, whine about, blame – it was all on me.
When you focus on the negative, you are training your brain to look for more “victim stories.”
Think, speak and act positively, powerfully – to create a new, empowering story. Start by noticing and changing the way you think about, speak about and see your life.
For example, when you want something and it doesn’t happen, what do you tell yourself? “Things never works out for me, it will take forever to get what I want,” (negative story). “I know things will work out for me. I will keep focused on what I want,” (positive story).
To change your story, use “I am” statements to create the best version of your life. I am powerful. I am happy. I am disciplined. I am talented. I am successful. I am unlimited; what I think about, I can create. I am positive. I am creative. I am an excellent person; I deserve the best.
Focus on the “optimistic opposite” of your current situation. Re-write your life’s story.
Be obsessed with it: write about it, speak about it with everyone; be enthusiastic, spread joy. Keep your brain focused on that ideal outcome, imagine it happening.
Do you want to have a better life? Take 100% responsibility. Create a better story. Then, start living it!
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