I was miserable. My happiness had just been hijacked – and I had allowed it. A peer told me they were upset with me – that they didn’t want to talk about it. Now, they have every right to be upset about what I did, didn’t do, said, didn’t say. But I felt out of control; feelings of fear and upset came over me. I could accept they were upset, yet the open loop – their continued anger – kept me stuck.
As long as their behavior needed to change for me to be happy, I was choosing to be stuck. My focus on what I didn’t like – their behavior – kept me in spin.
What do you do in such a situation?
You find your peace. You decide that peace is your only goal. When you achieve peace, you have done your part to change the situation. Then you accept what is – the situation, their feelings – and you let it go.
First, accept their upset. And accept that you cannot control their feelings. You can only control your own.
Next, set-up a chat and make them your PAL: Praise them for bringing this up, “I appreciate you bringing this to my attention.” Apologize for what you “did” to them, “I apologize if I upset you.” Listen if they are willing to discuss. “Would you please share what went wrong?” Do your best to end on a positive note.
If they are still stuck, that is, upset with you, forgive them and let it go. Say (in your mind), “I forgive you.” This sets you free, allows you to get back to work.
Then, every time you think of them, send them kindness and compassion – positive feelings. Why? Because “Whatever you give, you get back.” Give compassion, kindness = you receive it.
By practicing this, you are creating new habits for emotional freedom and peace. Now you are free. You are in control of your emotions and feelings. You can get back to work. This is your peace.
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